So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
