we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
