we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
