i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
