Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
