that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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