I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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