I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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