Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
