At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
