dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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