She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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