office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Of course I have a pirate flag
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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