We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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