I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
