dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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