We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
