before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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