My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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