Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
