She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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