i need an iv and a liver transplant
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize