..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
