The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
