Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
