Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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