Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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