how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize