i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Sext me about skeletons
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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