ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
try to milk me bitch
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
