Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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