don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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