# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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