she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
