You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
