i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
