im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
