Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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