Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
