Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
