Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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