So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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