i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
