R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
