you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Come see our sink grown plant.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So much Jack, so little girl.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
