she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize