I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
