I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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