he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
