if only i could text you this smell
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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