dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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