I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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