rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
