I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
