I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
