I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
