i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
