Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
