Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
