there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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